Crime of Passion

This time ten years ago I was on my way to the hairdresser.  I got married that day to someone I loved deeply.  I thought marriage was forever, but there's always some smarmy buck teeth tramp out there willing to screw it all up.  We all know one!

Mum dropped off a copy of Hello magazine to me the other day.  She thought I would find the interview they did with the former glamour model Katie Price interesting.  I know there are a lot of people who don’t like her very much namely because of her outrageous outfits and bold as brass attitude.  But me, I think she speaks a lot of sense and this interview was no different. 

She says it how it is.  What’s wrong with that?  That type of personality can be seen as a bit of a threat.  But it is what it is, a personality trait.  It doesn’t mean the person is nasty, malicious or awkward.  That is just who they are.  I always think these types of people make the best of friends because lets face it, they’re unlikely to be false and you’ll know exactly where you stand.  I bet she’s really lovely.  I empathise with her.  Just because you have money and success does not make you immune to bad things happening.  Only this week the much-loved actor Robin Williams died suddenly, in an alleged suicide.  There’s a prime example of someone who appeared to have it all.  Life is cruel.  As human beings we suffer the same heartache.  Emotions are indiscriminate.

Katie talked about her husband’s recently uncovered infidelity with two of her close friends.  Katie was very open and honest about her feelings regarding the situation.  Describing how “her heart hasn’t been broken, it’s been shattered”.

There are lots of things you would want to know.  What exactly happened. You need to know the truth.  Then and only then can you make a decision about what to do next.  You need all the facts. It seems she believes his account of events and with Katie being a woman of means she’s in a position to deal with things a bit differently to us mere mortals.  She said in the interview that she organised for her husband to have a polygraph test, just like they do on The Jeremy Kyle Show.  She wanted to know everything. How many times it happened, where it happened, when did it start.  All questions any wronged person would have racing through their head, but could you actually believe what you were being told by the guilty party if you wasn’t in a position to get one of these tests.  I suspect not and it would constantly be on your mind.  Visualising the pair of them ripping each other’s clothes off and having sex.  Was it in your bed, in your car, who else knew about it, who else was keeping the secret?  You would be spitting nails.

She also commented that she couldn’t understand why he would even want to have sex with two older women who were “rank”.    I suspect there are many theories on why someone would do that.  Likely story is, they were easy.  We all know blokes are trouser dumb but it's these ladies of ill repute that really know the lines they're crossing. Imagine being that desperate for attention you had to make do with the crumbs of someone else’s relationship.   Why would you not want to be the star of the show, the leading lady. Why would you be happy in the knowledge you were someone’s dirty secret.  You'd have to be a bit thick.  Why would you prey on someone that is married or married with children or like Katie married with a child on the way.  How could they be so cruel to the innocent victims.  Helping create a situation whereby children don't see the guilty parent as much as they used to.  Meanwhile the other spouse has had their life turned completely upside down and grieving for the life they thought was already planned out.  To be snatched away by a foolish act of greed.  Who does that?  Someone with No Moral Compass, that’s who.

Could you really ever trust someone who’s been unfaithful, not once, but twice and however many other times you don’t know about.  Without everyone coming clean, that situation will never right itself; it will be like a wound that never heals.  Who knows how long it will last between them.   I believe that once the relationship has been poisoned like this, I expect it won’t be a happy ending.  She maintains they are still husband and wife and this is a marital issue.  Something they must sort out together.  What we do know is that Katie is very switched on, so I hope she knows what she’s going to do next.  

If you ever find yourself on the verge of getting into a similar situation, I urge you to stop and think.  This type of behaviour carries a heavy psychological burden for everyone affected, accept the third party.  I'm a firm believer they feel nothing, because in some weird twisted way they don't think they've done anything wrong.  They feel no shame.

So I guess this "tin" of Alphabet Spaghetti is on me.  Your dinner is on the table!  Happy Anniversary.

Nursery Graduation

It’s the end of an era.  Nursery is finished and school is on the horizon.  I’m not sure how much Daisy understands about school and how it will be different to nursery.  She knows her teachers name and that she will be having lunch in the “school café”.

We had two nursery graduations with Daisy going to both school and a privately funded nursery.  All the friends she met in school nursery will form part of her Primary one class.  However the children at private nursery, well she’ll most likely never see them again.  That made me a little sad. 

Daisy had a similar start to my own childhood.  We moved house right at the time I was going to nursery.  Mum couldn’t get me into the catchment school nursery where our new house was so I continued at my old nursery before joining my school class in primary one.  I have vague memories of a little blonde haired boy who I was friendly with, I think his name was Paul.  I recall a photograph of my nursery class but sadly it seems to have gone missing.  When I saw it last I didn’t see Paul in the photo.  Who knows what happened.  Maybe he was off that day.  Maybe it's so long ago I didn't remember things correctly.

Thirty years later I found myself in a similar situation where Daisy had two sets of friends and had struck up a good friendship with a little boy in her privately run nursery.  I imagined when nursery was over Daisy asking me to invite Ewan to her birthday parties and me not knowing where he lived.  She often asks if he can come over to our house to visit.  Sometimes the best friendships start when you are really young.  Could I risk Daisy not seeing him ever again, absolutely not!  

Imagine everyday your child and another child are in nursery together, that they played with each other the entire time.  Dressing up in costumes.  Running around holding hands.  Spotting each other at the swimming baths on days off and being so excited to see each other.  One child, waiting at the door for the other to arrive on their allotted day.  This was the story that was relayed to my mum or I by the staff every week.  Later, I found out the same stories were being relayed to his parents.  Daisy and Ewan are best of friends.  Daisy often tells me she is going to marry Ewan and I know Ewan talks about Daisy a lot.  Now that is a friendship worth nurturing.     
   

Ewan’s mum and I made contact with each other for the first time recently and we introduced ourselves at the graduation ceremony.  We talked about meeting up over the school holidays and shortly after we organised a lovely day out at a local play barn.  We laughed exchanging stories about the things nursery had reported back to us over the past few years.  Some of the things would make you laugh so hard you couldn’t breathe.  We drank slush puppy, we shared slush puppy when someone drank all hers!  Ewan’s sister Ellie kept a tight reign on the jelly tots sweets, only handing one over to her mother.  Exactly the sort of thing Daisy would do to me.  On the way out Daisy gave Ewan a big kiss goodbye and we all laughed at how funny they are together.  I’m glad this story has a happy ending because now we know Ewan lives close by and we can stay in touch.  So it’s not goodbye, not this time, it’s until the next time.  See you soon Ewan. x