The countdown has started for
nominations to the MAD Blog Awards 2014.It’s now your opportunity to put forward the names of your favourite
parent bloggers.You don’t have
much time so you need to act NOW.The
prizes for winners are nominal, but for the people that put their heart and
souls into these blogs, money is irrelevant and satisfaction and pride are the
prizes here.
What are the MAD BLOG AWARDS,
well at first I thought it was awards for mad people that blogged.I laughed to myself and thought, oh that's me, but after reading some of the previous winners I thought that maybe I
wasn’t actually that mad.I mean,
I do find it odd telling the world what is going on in my life.Something’s you want to keep private
but I do want my readers to understand the whole picture and feel like they really understand what I'm writing about.I still want to be able to walk to the
local shops with my head held high.I think I can
If you asked me about blogging
four years ago I wouldn’t have had a clue about it.I guess I’ve become more aware of blogging due to moving
around in Photography circles and it was one of my photographer friends that
suggested I go ahead and do it. She purchased my blog for me as a gift and I was given a boot up the backside to get it started. I
told her I had thought about it a few years previous and my husband had one of
his “friends” lined up to build it for me.It didn’t feel right though, gut instincts prevailed and I
decided this person was not going to have anything
to do with it.
I started out in June last year,
not really knowing where the blogging would take me. I have been using it as a
form of therapy at times because I find it incredibly difficult to get my point
out there without getting caught up in the emotions of what I’m talking about
and what it actually feels like to be dealing with certain situations.I can start to cry watching TV or when my mind just goes off
in a tangent thinking about the most random things.Sometimes you just need an outlet to offload things that
need to be said.When I write it
all down, it feels rational.I
don’t get as carried away as I would if I was trying to tell someone how I feel
face to face.I often find it
difficult to stick to the subject in mind and I always end up rambling and forgetting
what I am meaning.With blogging,
my thought process becomes clinical and I feel like the things I’ve written
about don’t take up room in my head anymore.
So, now it's over to you and this is what you have to do.Click on the link Vote for Me and copy and
paste this URL http://dream-of-daisy.blogspot.co.ukinto the blog categories you think suit my blogging style and
subject. Easy peasy lemon squeezey. Maybe we can cheer up my little grumpy girl with a trip to London if I make the finals!
It's a day that will be etched on my mind forever and it was an odd day to start off
with. I double booked myself for various appointments, but forgot about the cleaning girls. They arrived earlier than expected so I dropped Daisy at nursery and drove to my next appointment only to be told I was a week early. We snorted
laughing, said our quick goodbyes and then I thought crap……the gas man!
All afternoon I waited, but I had to pick Daisy up from nursery before
6pm. I had no choice but to leave a note on the door saying I
wouldn’t be long and to “please wait”. I thought it’s the least the
guy could do after me waiting in all day. Came back home to find a
“sorry I missed you card”. I was angry that he just didn't care.
I
knew we had no milk so thought, oh well at least we can go get that from the
supermarket across the road. I told Daisy to put her shoes back on and
she grabbed a handful of jelly sweets to eat on the way. We walked around
the shop for about five minutes and Daisy disappeared briefly while I picked up
cheese and grapes. I then saw her coming back with the biggest carton of
milk they do {6 pints}. Mummy it’s heavy she exclaimed. I said
“Daisy we don’t need that size of milk’, but I want it she said. We
walked to the checkout and put the shopping up on to the counter and I handed
over my money just as Daisy grabbed me, with a little red face and fear in her
eyes I knew it was serious. What happened next was the worst few moments
of my life and writing about it makes my skin crawl.
Daisy was choking. I
looked into her mouth and couldn’t see any obstruction. I then stood
behind her, bent her upper body slightly forward and using the whole of my hand
I gave up to FIVE firm back blows between her shoulder blades. ONE, TWO,
THREE. That didn’t dislodge the object from her throat so I moved onto
step two which is abdominal thrusts, also known as the Heimlich maneuver.
Again I gave up to FIVE abdominal thrusts. Placing my fist between the bottom
for her rib cage and her belly button, I put my other hand on top and pulled
inwards and upwards. If abdominal thrusts do not dislodge the object, you
repeat steps one and two.
After
I delivered the first set of back blows I said to the shop assistant CALL AN
AMBULANCE. I carried on with the cycle again and then I shouted IS ANYONE
A FIRST AIDER. A young man, not more than seventeen years old seemed to
be encouraged forward from behind me. I looked at him for a second; he
looked sheepish and was clearly terrified so I turned my back on him. Still
carrying on with my cycle of emergency first aid. I decided to quickly
put her onto the floor, making a hook shape with my index finger I scooped in
and straight out of Daisy’s mouth. I looked into my baby’s eyes and her
little face mirrored the fear I had inside me. I got her back on her feet
and away we went again.
Next
a shop assistant squatted down on the floor beside me and was saying C’MON, GET
THIS UP. She told me to get Daisy into the recovery position and I said
NO. I whimpered “oh no’ for a second fearing the worst but another voice
in my head said GET THIS FUCKING THING OUT OF HER. It was getting pretty
desperate, blood stared coming out her mouth and nose and she continued to gasp
for breath and was starting to lose conscious. Three seconds after, blood
and salvia splattered all over the floor and a little voice squealed “mummy
you’re hurting me” and WHAM the sweet was out!
I
have never felt so much relief in my life. I turned her around, looked at
her wee face and hugged her tight. I should’ve got a bloody round of
applause having to do that all by myself. It probably only lasted a few
minutes but it seemed to go on forever. Still, NO AMBULANCE arrived, was
it even called? The ambulance depot is literally around the corner.
There was no staff FIRST AIDER, where was the MANAGER? What if I
panicked, what would they have done?
The
shop assistant who offered words of encouragement at the time fetched a bottle
of water for Daisy to drink. We were asked if we wanted to come and sit
in the office for a bit but I just wanted to get out of the place. I told
Daisy that Daddy got home today and that we could maybe go and see him, but he
was out. I left my phone at the house, today of all days as I was
literally just going to the shop for milk so we couldn't call anyone. We drove to nanny’s work but
she wasn’t on duty in the particular building we went to. We then drove a
few miles to the next place she would be and was relieved to see her car was in
the car park. We walked inside and told the staff what had happened, we
were both still covered in blood and I was clearly shaken. They made me a
coffee while we waited for mum to get back with the bus. Daisy was
completely fine, she asked for a drink and they got it, she asked for a biscuit
and they got it. They were great with us, but I don’t think they realised
the full horror of what just happened. Mum arrived and took Daisy into
the hall where the residents were waiting patiently for their concert to
begin. As the singer belted out Patsy Cline’s hit Crazy, I wept.
Daisy’s
dad and I did a first aid course when she was born. We drove sixty miles
away for a specialist babies & children first aid course with the Red
Cross. However that was almost three years ago and I’m not sure how
confident I would have been if it wasn’t for children’s TV personality Dr
Ranj. I think there is a slot every morning on children’s TV where he
explains various medical conditions and the importance of looking after
yourself. Daisy loves watching him and you can’t help but sing the catchy
theme tune. I wasn’t sure if he was an actual doctor or just a TV
presenter so I googled him and yes, he is a real NHS doctor specialising in
children and young people. I grabbed a quick tea break one morning and
switched over to “normal” TV while Daisy wasn’t looking, to find that he was on
a popular daytime show called This Morning. I remember it so clearly, I
said to Daisy, “look it’s Dr Ranj”. She huffed and puffed and complained
that she wanted her programmes back on. I said no lets watch this and she went
off to another room. As I watched he was talking about important
medicines to take on holiday. Then he talked about choking and did a
demonstration on what to do. The rest is history as they say. No
one will ever know how glad I was to watch that.
Daisy's cardigan she was wearing at the time of the incident
Daisy's nursery dress she was wearing at the time of the incident
Dr Ranj explaining on This Morning what to do in a choking emergency
You may wonder why I am writing this
blog. What is the story behind it and why choose the name, I dream of
Daisy? I thought I would explain the background in more detail.
I was born with one of the most life
limiting genetic conditions among the Caucasian population and I grew up
thinking I would never have children. Although it is physically possible
because all my parts were there, the strain of carrying a pregnancy to term
could put me in grave danger. Growing up, mortality and procreation was a
topic generally not discussed at hospital appointments and was definitely never
discussed at home. There are questions you just don’t ask for fear of the
answer and some things you are best not knowing. I remember at one point
the life expectancy was around 30 years and I lived my life thinking that I
would drop dead on or around then. Medical science is advancing but even
more important, is your mental ability to fight for life, live your life and
look after yourself. I am sure that together with the improved medical
science it’s possible you could beat the odds against you but complications
associated with carrying a pregnancy to term and mostly the thought of leaving
a young child without a mother, I always thought that it wouldn’t happen to
me. I had spent my childhood and young adulthood preparing myself for
that life, a life without a child of my own to love because of my health.
My mum brought my brother and I up on
her own and throughout my life she has been the one teaching me to stand up for
what I wanted and encouraged me through the hard times. It is her get up
and go, her belief in me and her positive attitude that has taken me to where I
am today. I owe her for allowing me to believe I can lead a
"normal" life. In my late teens mum gave me further hope that I
could maybe have a baby one day by offering to be a surrogate. She would
joke that by using her I could be assured of the baby being handed over.
In my early 20s I met the man who later
was to become my husband and I did explain how a life with me would most likely
result in a life without a child. In the beginning he explained that it
was me he wanted to be with and if we didn’t have children, it wasn’t meant to
be. He was in the armed forced and was posted in Germany and to enable me
to join him we decided to get married. I was excited as I planned our
wedding and was looking forward to us spending our life together. When
the Army learned of my condition they would not allow me to join my husband
once married due to fear that they could not cope with my often hectic,
treatment regime. Looking back, I can partly agree with this decision but
at the time the pressure of planning the wedding and the uncertainty of how my
husband and I would be together caused too much of a strain on my health and I
lost a lot of weight.
We did fight the armed forces and in the end my
husband got posted locally and later left the Army, which meant we could
finally be together. It was when we were together that his desire
for a child grew and we had several discussions about it. After six months of
talking and thinking and two young people I knew that had been taken away from
the world in such a cruel way, I decided life was for living. I was going to
take a risk and have a child, the one thing I never even allowed myself to
dream of. I told my husband that yes, lets do it, lets have a child and
at this point in time my life was on the up. I realised that I was
happily married to my husband and life can throw you surprises; even those
living without my condition don't know what tomorrow holds. I had a
husband wanting to be a dad and I could have a child and be blessed with being
a mum. I just knew that I would love
my child for as long as possible and that together we were going to create good
family values and that he would be supported by my family if that fateful day
came……..where I had to leave them.
