26 August 2019

Unhappy Pants




It may not matter to you, but it matters to me.  When the respect is gone, how do you muddle though?

I know there’s a lot of parents out there who have this bugbear about clothes sharing with an ex for weekend visits.  You get to the point that you resent sending away brand new clothes because there’s a chance they never come back.  School things required for the following week end up sitting in someone else’s house.  It’s very frustrating. Often it’s the mum tearing her hair out wondering why they just can’t return things.

I was glad when my ex complained about not liking the clothes I sent with my daughter.  I don’t like packing, so when he said the clothes I bought her were disgusting I said, buy your own then.  That was about 2 or 3 years ago. I’d like to say I never looked back, but it’s hard to manage.  She’s always going to be wearing underwear and socks from my house, or the occasional school uniform.  

Yet again, I have damaged clothes returned, but I know if I brought this up with my ex I would get a height of abuse.  It’s not a big deal, they were put in the dark wash by mistake, why can’t you just use some vanish stain remover.  

I think, NO, why can’t you use some vanish stain remover when you realise the mistake, or better still, sort your colours before washing! I’m not sure what the truth is anymore.  Is it lack of respect or do they just not see it?

Maybe I’m fussy or maybe I’m normal with my laundry care.  Maybe I have this idyllic view that scruffy tatty clothes are for the bin and that you wash colours separate to avoid ruining clothes, clothes are expensive.  Stain removers are expensive, and should be used only when necessary.  Sometimes they work, sometimes you can’t reverse what happened.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could reverse what happened.  The trick is to try and think before you do something, what are the consequences.  Yes it’s only laundry, but what other things in your life do you treat like laundry? 

There’s a saying I loath.  It all comes out in the wash, it’s the biggest crock of shite I’ve ever heard!  It doesn’t.


Suggested solution to reverse the disrespect

Next time, perhaps you could send a message to the other person at the time of the event and say.  I’ve made a mistake with the laundry and ‘X’ item is ruined, sorry.  What would you like me to do? I could replace the item with the same or next size up? Replace with something else, what does child need instead. Do you want the money to replace it yourself.  You may be suprised to hear, don’t worry it was just a cheap t-shirt. Try your best to work things out if you've made the mistake.

Whatever is agreed, stick to it and follow through. No excuses! Make it a priority to rectify the situation before you return the child. 

Do people really feel good in scabby knickers? Maybe I should mention it again that there's no need to wash the clothes, just give them back to me.



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