In my previous blog There's no place like Home, I wrote about our recent holiday together. While writing that blog, it got me thinking about something I read a few years ago, so I asked one of my university lecturer friends if she could find the piece for me. I've put it at the bottom of the page, it's really interesting how our behaviour can impact on our children and it is food for thought. Our blogging circle is back on track this month. Zoë was without internet for three weeks while moving house. We welcome an old friend Diane, of Diane Whyte Photography this month. She has been planning on joining us but has been busy with her boys during the school holidays. This month I am linking to her blog: You never get two the Same. Diane has years of experience and I'm looking forward to reading her letter.
My Darling Daisy,
I wanted to let you know that I was really proud of how well you behaved being away from home, considering we were in really busy unknown places. To be absolutely sure I was not going to lose you, Nanny suggested I use my old reigns, the very ones that were purchased for me when I was a toddler and are over thirty years old. I put them on you, unclipped the back loop and attached it to the belt loop on my jeans. You weren’t all that keen on being tied up like a dog at first but you soon realised that it was for your own good. That, or you accepted the fact I wasn’t going to cave in and remove them. You’ve been on a train before but this was the first time on the Caledonian sleeper and it was very exciting. As soon as you saw the berth you immediately wanted to be on the top bunk. I was a little concerned that you might fall out but I didn’t want to disappoint you and I told myself that you would be fine. There are two safety belts that act as a barrier at the head end of the top bunk so I felt a little better about it, however I woke up every hour of the journey with worry. I was constantly in and out of my bed checking that you were ok but you slept like a log the entire way.
You know that when we go anywhere different I usually take my camera; you never know when there will be a photo opportunity. Being in the south of England, we were pretty assured that the weather was going to be nice so there’s more chances to get photos of you in your summer dresses. You were extremely patient with me this trip and only moaned about the camera a few times. Your new way to show your annoyance at the camera is to pull funny faces or do the complete opposite of what I'm directing you to do. When we were at Blenheim Palace I wanted a photo on the stairs and knew I only had a small window of opportunity before you would get grouchy. I was saying, left a bit, right a bit, up a step, down a step and was making you wait until the steps had cleared and I couldn’t believe you were actually doing as you were told.
You are getting older and much more grown up. I can't believe you are starting pre-school nursery next month. We've had a great summer holiday together and we've done some really exciting things. I'm just a little sad that this will be the last summer before we are bound by school holidays and can't just disappear when we feel like it. Next week is officially our final week of the holidays.
I feel like we learned a lot on our mini break holiday. You have been more tolerant of my photo taking and I have persevered until I got what I needed without an argument. I have been more laid back like Nanny since coming home and realised that getting all worked up about small things is totally pointless. You learn from your surroundings and I think I if I can be calm you will grow up to be calm too, although there’s that teeny weenie bit of genetic personality that I’m glad you’ve got.
Children Learn What They Live
By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.
By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.
If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.